Why Deadbeat Dads Are Worse Than You Think

We all know guys that’re irresponsible. In fact, at some point, we’ve been there ourselves. 

For dudes still stuck in the me phase, now is the time to get your mind right and start carrying your weight by handling your business.

It might seem cool to slip and slide, trying not to get trapped by a woman (with your offspring), or avoiding repercussions from the system. However, the longer you stay in this phase, the more damage you’re doing. 

When you were a child, immaturity was expected. But adulthood is different. 

For a grown person, sacrifice is key. Clarity shows purpose. The greater good prevails, with resolutions benefiting all parties involved. 

But sometimes it’s not that simple, and you, or someone else, have to take a hit. That’s a part of life too. We all deal with difficulties, it’s not personal.

Deadbeat dads don’t think this way. 

They don’t get the big picture of life. 

Going back to childhood, many young men, especially in urban areas, didn’t have solid (or any) male role models to teach them how grown men handle the realities of life. Unfortunately, these males are primed to be fodder for the state, which they cosigned by criminalizing themselves. 

Further, single mothers carry their burden, which can include; children, a lack of education, underemployment, and shiftless men. Once diminished, she is open, her boundaries hopelessly breached. 

A male child raised in these circumstances is lost, rudderless in tumultuous waters, and vulnerable to whatever indignities life might put upon him. 

Grown, the boy is unbalanced by design and ill-equipped to handle the more subtle aspects of life. 

He is frightened, reactionary, and vulnerable. 

Cornered by emotions he can’t resolve, and tethered to female responses, he plays tough, fronting to conceal his shaky self-image and repel potential threats. 

Attack can come from street rivals, dudes pushing up on designated women, and any form of authority. 

Each of these can lead to disaster, and the boy/man’s perceptions are twisted. He relies on delusion and fantasy to give him courage. 

Under such circumstances, and the dire nature of living within the underclass, where does a young man turn, where is the light switch in a vast darkened room? How does he escape?

There is a way out. Change is possible, though not the first or plausible option for those clinging to their sickness. There’s too much at stake (pride, bragging rights) to turn away from a source of comfort, no matter how destructive. 

Still, clarity emerges, and the truth reveals itself. 

The dude might catch a glimpse and, just for a second, understand there is another way to live. 

Maybe a flicker of hope catches him during nefarious activity. But does he hold on?

Deadbeat dads (and those groomed to be such) are genocidal killers.  

A man that doesn’t take care of his children wants them to die. His neglect shows he doesn’t care. 

By relinquishing his role as protector, he leaves his offspring vulnerable to the whims of deviants that prey on broken families, starting a cycle of abuse. 

Further, he can’t check the new man in his baby mother’s life or provide adequate security for his children as a safeguard against dysfunction. 

He doesn’t worry about such things because he’s already dead himself. The evidence is clear. How else could he justify abandoning his kids?

The dude that gets it hates being a deadbeat dad. He’s tortured by what he’s become and wants to do better. He doesn’t find comfort in being less than being incapable of taking care of his own. 

He’s no longer whimsical, but rests on a bedrock of understanding. He knows who he is and what he offers. 

Excuses for his tough upbringing no longer fly, he knows that the shaping of his life is up to him, including his very survival. 

He learns from every situation and vows to do better because he knows there’s more riding on his actions than satisfying primal urges that people depend on his decisions. 

By taking responsibility and facing expectations, the forgotten boy finds his way amidst uncertainty and becomes a man. He’s now the father he’s always wanted.

Which is all anyone can ask.

Later,

Gary